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You don’t grow up thinking that your personal identity can be taken from you, but it can. If you’re lucky, you have something left that has been rearranged into something, someone else. Some of the changes are quite dramatic. I went from being a known Christian theologian to an avowed Heathen who honors the Old Ones of my ancestors.What? You posted stories here how are you a theologian? Simple, in my travels I’ve never met anyone saint or sinner who wasn’t a freak on some level. Sexual feelings are a valid part of being human and it’s only when you attempt to suppress or go hog wild with them that an issue is created. That includes the deep dark ones as well. You know the ones you won’t even tell your spouse about because you be twisted. You still have to accept that you have them and then process them responsibly so you don’t mess up your life or the lives of the ones you love.It’s the same with other emotions. If you are enraged are you going to rant, rave, and cuss. Maybe take a. . just this side of theline separating good and bad taste. In retrospect, our relationship was kindof unhealthy, in that she was one of those young girls who becomesover-sexual due to some kind of bad experience, and I was inadvertently oneof those guys who would date girls like her.I don't know the exact psychology behind it. All I know is that she was afox. Not in a classical, healthy and athletic way, but in a very . . . trashyway. I was a senior in high school, and I was listening to a lot of SonicYouth, and I was all into John Waters and MaximumRocknRoll, so I dug thetrashy vibe. I figured her style was something conscious, intentional, like ahigh-concept po-mo social commentary thing. I've always been too willing toassign noble intent to people.She would wear things like nylon slips as skirts, tight, white trash shirts,daisy dukes, and poofy poofy thrift-shop skirts. And always, as a rule, shewould wear some kind of big, clunky shoes with either a heel or a platform.She managed.
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